Hello, readers dear! This is Part Two, the payoff and conclusion to my short Carag story This Armor that Surrounds My Heart. If you’re only going to read one or the other, this is the one I recommend, though I find that the tension, frustration and heartache of Part One make this finale hit a lot harder. Also, I wasn’t going to repeat Ushviiret’s description within what is, technically, the same story, so if you want to know what she looks, you’ll find P1 pretty helpful!~
You can find Part One here, if you haven’t read it already: https://ashenveingate.com/2022/07/03/short-story-this-armor-that-surrounds-my-heart-part-one/
Let’s get to it, then, shall we?
Google doc: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1tr5nyyYKyorYcB76L6isKXL-jfBj4CAJU1RUMez3mXg/edit?usp=sharing
This Armor that Surrounds My Heart
Part two of a short, queer, weird fiction romance by
Kairliina Saelvur Urwollust
Disclaimer:
This is a Carag story. If you seek to understand it through any lens other than the Carag ourselves, you will only create disappointment for yourself. Carag stories exist to depict the Carag as complete beings: children of the writhing cosmos, demons of the outer ways. Open yourself to experience, and you may prosper by this reading. If you dislike anything that these words stir within you, you are free to leave.
That is all.
***
I stop measuring the passage of time after Ushviiret leaves. Research projects stamp dull marks on my dull brow and dull days pass in dull repetition. I’m full of facts. So, so many facts. And about those facts I feel…
Nothing.
Though I see the shapes of other beings, memory smears them to blurs. I am a patchwork of weightless awarenesses. A hand gone numb under scalding water, guided without sight, only knowing that it has encountered something by a brief inertia of collision. Clarity lies only at the edges of the Carag-shaped hole inside. I try and try and try to remember one great, meaningful thing I gave Ushviiret.
The truth’s simple: I vomited my emptiness at her and, day after day, she found something beautiful to fill it with.
I lost my job at some point. I moved to welfare. Enough to stay fed. Enough to keep my lonely, dusty apartment looking out on a world where I’ve never felt at home. After falling asleep in the fetal position, I’m unsurprised to turn lucid in a dark dream.
Stony crags. Heavy blue shadows. Space-stations fused into the ground, all bulkheads and circuits and cables. Of course this is all I can dream. What else does my life contain?
But at least I’m away from the waking universe. The universe of my failure.
So I wander, empty of thoughts, content to let myself melt away. How pleasant that is… I wander into changeling lands, where stark constructs, and fluted spires, and sloping bastions rise above rift-valleys churning with blue murk. And here, I encounter my mother.
She stares at me. She stares at her hands.
“Mama…” I weep, staggering towards her, snotty, knowing that at least this is a dream, at least here I–
“_______, we are not doing this,” Mama says with Ushviiret’s voice, and then she is Ushviiret.
“B-but…” Sharpness. Clarity. This presence… “Ushviiret?”
“Yes, hi, hello to you too,” the Saelvur maiden mutters. She knuckles her chin, pacing. “Damnation. Blasted fool… abysses must be linked… too long, too long with you…” she stops. Faces me. Her nostrils hiss, slashing blasts of superheated gas into the air she devours. “You know what, _____?”
Ushviiret’s eyes flare. Her brows draw down, her teeth clash together, and their seams spawn a scalding nova-pulse. Black bones and blue-grey veins stand stark against the translucent bubble her power makes from my skin, fat, and sinew. An explosion of sunburn scorches, the horrid stench of ozone, my tongue heavy and dry and tasting like blood.
I topple and I… I start to cry.
“Ush… you killed me…”
Ushviiret’s behind me, Ushviiret gathers my head between her big, hot, pillowy boobs, Ushviiret strokes my hair as it begins to fall out. “Yeah. I did. Shh. Surrender. Succumb. I regret only that I didn’t do this the day we met.”
My skin’s peeling, melting, molting. Vomit bubbles up a burning throat, acid worsening the pain of rot. And despite all that, the only thing that truly hurts is disbelief. Ushviiret would hurt anyone else, I believe that. But not me. Ushviiret wouldn’t hurt me, Ushviiret…
Ushviiret holds me. Ushviiret knew I would always be miserable in life, so she’s here to make sure I don’t die alone. I can be content with that. My flesh necrotizes, turning black in strips. I cough disintegrating organs. Knives fill me up, cutting away inside.
I wait for everything to fade.
I wait, while Ushviiret adjusts her grasp and rests her chin atop my head.
I wait while the flesh slides off my arms.
I wait as the pain ebbs, and a strange, swelling, giddy sensation blooms deep inside.
I already know the word I would use:
Free.
It’s irrational, self-destructive, utterly crazed. Everything about Ushviiret and I is crazed, so I… I succumb. I’m so happy Ushviiret’s holding me. I love her so much. To be with her in this strange lucid dream feels so right, and I…
Fullness overflows. Phantom pains become phantom warmth. They grow brighter, electric thrumming, sending quivers through exposed bones that sharpen, harden, darken to glittering crystal.
“Sister,” Ushviiret mutters, “you are so lucky that I am madly in love with you.”
She sniffles with every kiss she plants on my skull, every squeeze on my arms that grow dark-blue chitin and slit-vents for scorching stellar fire, sniffles as she nuzzles into the sensitive membranes blooming on my neck, sniffles as she rests her claws on the bulges at my scalp. Human nerves have no answer to the way her touch stabs my psyche. A pleasure that splits like a wound–these viscous bubblings, black boiling oil-blood that spills out of the growths when my love’s talons slit them open and my horns erupt at last.
Without ever touching my reformed girlcock, Ushviiret gives me my first orgasm as an outer succubus. I thrash and arch in her grasp, squirming to grind her talons against the bases of my horns, whimpering with shivers that run all the way down my spine and explode into my tail.
“Idiot,” Ushviiret murmurs, kissing my cheek, her tone melting, fond, wondrously possessive. “You stupid stubborn bitch. I knew from the first month you were a Saelvur girl. Only our Graesh can take that much dissonance and make it so… so perversely compelling.”
She drifts silky fingers and tantalizing talons down my body, lingering on the vaginal slits in the underside of my tits and teasing with slow strokes until I gasp. She muffles me with her palm, coaxes my tongue to the crevices between her fingers, and slowly jerks me off. When I’m hard again, when my seed coats my cock and I have to prop myself up to fight involuntary spasms down wings of sensitive silver spines and blue-plasma spans, Ushviiret slips out from behind me and presents herself.
On the way, her tail gifts a sensuous stroke to my chin. Its tip lifts up as it drifts past, pulling her ass with it, and she wiggles her hips with a coquettish smile over her shapely shoulder. “C’mon, kindred.” She licks her fangs. “If you think I’m letting your apology end with one orgasm, well… time to teach you better.”
“Ush, isn’t this…” I stare at the dark dreamscape. This eerie blue midnight, nova-spills from the rifts, the dormant bastions in iridescent silvery metalloid and cobalt flesh, strange stars and galaxies peering like reflections in glass through the shadow-skies above… it feels like… home. “Isn’t this a kind of public dream-land? For our… for Graesh Saelvur?”
Ushviiret rolls her eyes and winds her tail around me, pulling me closer. My hen, blue and ridged with soft nubs and prongs like off-white hyphae branching from its tip, settles into the meeting curves of her ass.
“Are you worried about being seen, oh dearest kindred?” Her brows quirk over her primary eyes, teasing. “Mate with me. Let our people witness, and drink their share in the vastness of our love.” She rubs against me. “Take your time if you’re nervous. If you do something I really hate, I’ll make sure you know. Otherwise…” she shrugs. “Trust your instincts. Explore me.”
Her steady gaze holds my anxious eyes until my anxiety fades. Ushviiret seethes with heat, with lust, with love. With every second her emanations kiss all along the underside of my shaft. Stoking my ardor. Making me ache for her.
Slowly, then. Slowly, still unable to comprehend, yet beginning to accept. Ushviiret wants me. Ushviiret always wanted me. Ushviiret is here, right now, her horned head resting on her hands, her wings morphed and folded to fit tight against the curves of her back and flatter the ample swells of her ass, and she wants to be with me. When my hand pushes into her plush rear, sinking into heat that would vaporize human flesh, heat fills me with bliss, she sighs happily and rubs against me.
It’s such a simple thing, but I keep thinking about how warm she is.
“How… how can girls exist?” I, a girl, ask.
Any other time I’d have to laugh at myself. That’s me in a single sentence. Ushviiret just giggles, and raises her tail higher. I spread her cheeks with my thumb. Her anus and her pussy both twitch, one puckering, the other quivering.
Explore her, huh? I lean forward and around her to kiss her, first, to probe her mouth with my tongue, to taste her spit mixing with mine.
She’s so happy. I’ve never seen another woman smile that wide before…
I mark her with kisses, one after another down her back, and then something about the tender flesh just above her hips calls to me. I sink my fangs in. My sweet succubus cries out, cranes her head back, keeps panting hard and fast after I back off to admire her supple form, to admire the boiling pink slime bubbling out of the love-wound I’ve given her.
“You’re such an expressive girl, you know that, Ush? I’ve always loved that about you. You take every little thing inside you, and make it such an immense delight.” I play with her tail, letting its heavy coils twist against my fingers. So much lost time to make up… we’ll be fucking for months. Wait… why only months? Why do anything else?
We’re outer succubi, female Carag. We can spend all eternity, we can spend infinite eternities searching for the most exciting places for sex, seeking the most intriguing mates from every species. Used and bound, bred and mind-broken, over and over and over…
But it’ll always be Ushviiret I want most. To take her hands in mine, hold her, kiss her, rail her senseless. I spread her ass and nip all the way to her pussy. Here only, her blue skin grows pale like glacial ice, and makes the lighter sky-blue of her folds stand out even more.
I fit my lips to her velvety opening, and savor everything: the spore-sweet taste, the dripping slimy thickness of her secretions, and yes, every parasitic tendril that flails and grasps and squeezes at my tongue.
Ushviiret moans and writhes. Her pleasure is contagious. Every little sound drives me wild with needy answers, stokes my lust to be loud and lustful so she’ll be more loud and lustful still. I smack, slurp, pant eagerly at her pussy.
Whether it’s the all the foreplay, whether I’m instinctively skilled at oral, whether it’s just Ushviiret chasing bliss so swiftly that the rest barely matters, it seems like only moments before she cums. The pink semi-liquid of her lust burns and tingles. It flushes my cock so hard it hurts. Loose parasites trickle down my throat, and I’m already so lost in her that I’m overjoyed–one more pleasure to share with the demon of my heart!
Ush babbles through her climax, clutching my head with her tail, grinding against my lips. Over and over, she gasps out the most beautiful words in the universe–“I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I–!!!!”
The feedback loop of her ecstasy pushes me over the edge again. I’m just quick enough to rear up and slap my shaft down atop her ass, grinding against her cheeks, shooting spurts of demon-seed across the small of her back and as far as her shoulders. So much…
“You’re so worth it,” Ushviiret moans. She rubs against my hen, making it bob, while her tail’s tip presses out the last strands of semen. “You were so worth the wait, darling…”
I lean over her, hugging her tight and folding us together in my wings. I meet her lips as she twists her head back to kiss me. Making out, brushing up against each other, we slide down to the soft ground. Here we are at last: me, the big spoon to her little. A perfect fit.
“I wish we could go back and do all that again,” I whisper.
Ush giggles, rubbing her cheek against mine. “We can, idiot. We’re Carag. Elective time loops are a common sex technique.”
I gulp. “Oh… I think I need a minute…”
“Don’t worry.” Her laughter’s like sweet liquor to me. One taste and I’m drunk on her all over again. Another kiss from my sister-succubus serves to intoxicate me even further. “The moment will keep, darling.”
Nestled against Ushviiret, grinding on her sometimes for the simple pleasure of her warmth against my tip, and sinking into the rhythms of her happy little sighs, I am finally where I belong. Free of inane demands and recursive worries. Free of mortal labor, mortal strife, mortal doctrines and demands and dogma. Free to be wild, indulgent, lustful.
“How did you know?” sleepy words drift out to ride the winds of dreamland.
“Told you, darling.” Ush’s tail-tip creeps over my hips and finds the base of mine. Vine-like, it winds, coils twisting together and squeezing tight. “Carag, like any other demon, is something one chooses to become when they reach adulthood. Me? I’m a Saelvur, like you. Our heritage, our Graesh… our whole philosophy hinges on the continuum of dissonance-into-harmony. You remember I’ve mentioned Kairliina before? The first Carag?”
She squirms around, still cocooned inside my wings, until she’s facing my chest. She toys with my hen, rubbing her thumb up and down over my tip’s nerve-studded sheath. Twitching exactly the right spots to make me tremble. Sleepy as I am, I melt into the sudden lust-spikes sent by her caresses, erogenous waves riding crystal nerves through my psyche.
“Y-yes,” I mumble. “Y-you have.”
“Well, that’s the point, right?” Ushviiret works lower, taking one of my triple-holed nipples into her mouth and working her tongue from fork to fork. Kinetic energy gathers in her talons until they vibrate and she slots them into the clitoral tissue under my boobs. She digs, hooking and fingering deep, until I whimper. Then she keeps going, her tone turned knowing and full of mischief. After all, history of Saelvur succubi is a history of sluts whose denial only makes it more wonderful when we finally submit to our lust.
“There were no other Carag yet to join,” Ush murmurs, pausing often to nip my teats–a deft fasten and upward pluck with her razor fangs, pulling until I cry out in delight. “She was very a rare creature. Not special, you understand, but rare–a natural-formed demon, Carag from the very first. An outer succubus like us. That only made it harder for her to discover herself. She had to learn how to become what she already was. A succubus is still herself inside, even if she’s wearing a different body. Shapeshifter’s instincts, you know? The first was so used to living with its own cognitive dissonance that she didn’t begin to understand herself for many years.”
“Oh…” I, sheepish and all the more vulnerable to Ush’s foreplay for it, scrunch up my lips and look away. “So…”
“There’s more nuance to it,” Ushviiret says, breaking off for a drawn-out, indulgent suckling-session at my other breast, “but generally, outer succubi start, well, outside ourselves. We begin as beings who claim to want the opposite of what we actually desire. We establish false dualities as a defense mechanism. But deep down, we know what we truly want, and without someone to help us understand those instincts… if we’re looking to the wrong role models, we come to hate ourselves for our own truest desires.”
Another affectionate kiss on my cheek. “Watching you was agony. Honestly, I just wish I’d force-femmed you the day we met, the very moment I touched your half-sleeping mind and felt the abyss within you.”
“I… I don’t think I’m bothered, actually.” I rub my tail along hers. “I’m just happy to be here, Ushviiret Saelvur. Happy to be with you at last.”
Ushviiret smiles for me. “Then I’ll just be happy, too.” I get to see this smile every day… how do you like that? Demons, too, can experience miracles.
And just like that, the insatiable star-harlot returns to playing with my body. I love this creature so, so much more than words can ever express.
“Oh, right, body,” I murmur. “We’ll have to go back at some point to deal with my flesh…” I know, instinctively, that I’m already free of it. This dream is now my reality.
“No, we don’t,” Ushviiret giggles. She flexes her talons to open an ovoid portal peering down on the steaming, discolored radiation-rotted mess in my bed. “No comatose meat-vessel to deal with, darling.”
I stare at her. “Ush, that’s horrifying. You want me to abandon my mortal vessel’s melted remains, festering in the dark, for some hapless custodian to discover and report?”
“Yep!” Her eyes are too full of glee to leave any room for guilt.
“You are terrible,” I laugh, touching nose to nose and horns to horns. “Alright. As a present to you, Ushviiret… and also,” I look away, sly, “I like that idea too. An abrupt, unexplained death and disintegration. What horrific entity could’ve done this?”
Ushviiret flashes her fangs. “That’s us! The people-melters!”
Our giggles subside. Silence reigns until my thoughts turn from the past to the future. “Ush…” I ease away and hide behind one wing, timid. “May I ask you a question?”
“Communication is key to a happy relationship!” she says, nodding and cheerful.
I know, realistically, how she’ll answer, but my fear is so deep-seated and unreasoning that it feels like I’m drilling the words through it. “Do you… would you like to stay together? Roaming universes and, y’know… we can go off on our own sometimes, I don’t mind, but… I’d like to be taken by your side. I’d like us to be fucked together, I want to make out with you while total strangers impregnate us–“
“Of course I want that!” Ushviiret all but screams with joy, taking my hands in hers and trembling with excitement. “Darling, all I’ve ever wanted is for us to be complete whores together!” Her delight bubbles over into more kisses, a relentless barrage of kisses and licks by her many-eyed tongue, and then a sudden moaning plunge of her fangs into my neck.
“Ush,” I groan. “Ush, you can’t bite my neck and drink my blood, that’s stealing vampire valor.” My darling mate opens her eyes long enough to roll them and only bites in harder. The piercing pain of her fangs, the steamy seal her mouth makes over my wound, her tongue lapping eagerly at my black blood while more of her parasites squirm into me… the urgent ache in my girlcock reminds me that I could be fucking Ush again, right now.
So it is that the first time Ushviiret speaks to me mind-to-mind, she does it to make it absolutely clear that nobody’s going to scare her out of drinking my blood. –I am a living supernova! I’m the demon-sun of irradiant damnation! If a vampire’s stupid enough to pick a fight with a Carag, I will scream with laughter while I burn them to oblivion!–
“You’re so beautiful when you know you’re better than everyone else,” I gasp, meaning it. Ush freezes for three deep, sharp breaths while her eyes widen, staring at me. “Ush…?”
She throws her arms around my head and pushes against me, rubbing her folds frantically along my shaft. She pants, she moans, she whines with need. When she breaks off her suckling kiss and my wounds heal, excess blood spatters on her tits–shining, steaming trickles tracing each heavy curve. “Take me!” she begs. “Take me now, darling!”
No further words needed. I throw myself atop her, plant my hands on either side of her head, push her legs back, bending, until her feet are hooked through her own horns. And then? Then, grinning slyly, I rub the tip of my hen slowly over her glistening folds while Ushviiret squirms with growing frustration.
“You petty bitch,” she groans. “You haven’t even taken a name yet, how am I…” An especially deep drag sends tremors from the tips of her horns to the tips of her toe-claws, and splatters her words apart in the speckling of girlcum now trickling down her thighs.
Slowly, slowly, using my tail to keep teasing her, I lean far enough to kiss her. “I think… I think my name is Yultraed.”
“Gorgeous…” Ushviiret lingers on the sound. Her eyes shine, rose-pink nova. “But don’t mistake my motivations, darling! You may have my legs in a compromising position, but–“
Instinct tells me to stretch a talon to one of Ush’s glinting, bio-metallic horns and deliver a single hard tap to it. She slackens the instant the vibrations reach her skull, her tail thumps and twitches at the ground underneath us, and her pussy squishes audibly with spills of fresh love-nectar. Slyly, using one hand to keep rubbing my shaft at her pussy, I raise the other’s claws to rake along her horns.
Ushviiret’s resolve implodes at the vibrations overwhelming her pleasure-center. Her eyes roll back, and a brainless happy smile spreads her lips wide. “Love you love you love you love you love you–“
“Good slut,” I murmur, kissing on cheek. “Good whore,” as I kiss the other. My claws have pleasure-sensors too, every reverberation pouring arousal up my arms in ways I’m only used to feeling from my girldick. So I speak with special fervor as I kiss Ushviiret’s brow, whisper, “my whore,” and slide myself into her.
She’s so slick that I have to watch the penetration with baited breath to stop myself from slipping all the way in at once. Watch her channel expand and contract to follow the swells and curves of my cock, watch her belly bulge gently as I fill her. I touch my brow to hers, twisting my horns from side to side until we lock up together, and I surrender to the shifting rhythm of my thrusts and our moans.
Slower at first, more deliberate, changing pace whenever I start to tune out. Ush kisses, licks, and nips with slow sighs. Her runic womb tattoo glows brighter at each push, and her tail winds loosely around mine. This time it’s her wings that stretch wide and envelop us, holding me close, capturing our mingled scents–hers spore-sweet and fleshy, mine like herbs and iron and heady spring blossoms–in the little cocoon of our sex.
I couldn’t say how long we fuck before the final rush. It’s a sudden sharpening of need, a primal descent. I jab harder, longer, pushing into Ushviiret until I feel her cervix kiss my tip and open wide to let it through. Lingering memories of human anatomy, of my SexEd teacher ranting, “Don’t! Fuck! The cervix!”
But Ushviiret isn’t human, and I’m not human, and when I pause she squirms and growls and digs her talons into my back so fiercely I shoot forward on pure reflex. Hammering into her, desperate to feel her as deep as I can, to feel her inner walls stroking my shaft, to fill the warmth and wetness of her with my sperm.
To breed…?
From one thought, an overwhelming drive explodes. Faster, faster, faster–I have to fill Ushviiret with cum, I have to breed her, I have to make her the mother of my children. She squeals with delirious passion, clings to me, urges me on with more rakes of her claws, with more kisses, with every breathy cry and spasm of building orgasm.
I don’t know who cums first. I only know that I bury my hen up to the balls in Ushviiret’s pussy, and her folds and her parasites converge to bathe my shaft in ecstasy, and my cum’s thick, opaque swirls mix with her pink love-liquid as I fill her until she’s overflowing. And still I squirm against her, savoring the tender ache of climax, milking out drop after drop of semen.
Not enough, not enough, it’s not enough! I need to feel her more, I need us to wind together so tight, so deep that everything in my nerves enters her. I am torn by my desire, folding open on the pressure-wave of myself to meet Ushviiret. In explosions of need and rearranging other-flesh, we morph and meld and squirm together. My blue sinews contort against her black flesh, just like my blue chitin grapples to her joints and strokes her flesh-petals, like my black spikes grind, clash, lock with her pincers and teeth, silver nerve-coils entwining with purple graspers.
Pseudopods and cocks and meeting channels. Labyrinths of loving, lusting, mindless mating-frenzy, I pour seed into my mate in one reality-ripping climax after another.
Until, finally, we find equilibrium. We fold our bipedal selves, still entwined, half-apart from the flesh-caverns within ourselves where one of my chitin-sheathed girldicks fills the wet tunnel leading to one of her wombs. Across all the layers of our forms, I collapse atop her. Her back fuses with the flesh-walls of her other layers, and my back fuses with mine, two squirming pocket dimension of afterglow and lust-drunk smiles.
“I love you, Yultraed,” Ushviiret whispers. The thrill of my name on her lips is everything I ever wanted. “I love you so much…”
“I love you too, Ush.” We share a simmering kiss and once more curl up, face to face.
We lie, languid and happy, for a long time before I note that the glow on Ushviiret’s womb tattoo still hasn’t faded. “Um, Ush…” I flick my eyes down. “What does that mean?”
She averts her eyes, using a wing-tip to cover her mouth. “D-did you want to breed me, darling?” She’s so cute when she babbles…
“Yes,” I manage to say.
“Well,” Ush grins, bashful. “I wanted you to be breed me too. That’s it. That’s how Carag conceptions works. Congratulations, darling!” Her smile is tender and awkward and so unfathomably beautiful. “We’re going to be mommies together…”
“I…” I take a few seconds to absorb that, and a few seconds only. I push my palms to hers, fingers interlocking. “I’m ready, Ush. I’m ready to raise our little ones with you.” I kiss her, feeling warm trickles down my cheeks to match the tears of joy in hers. “We’ll have to postpone our travel plans, of course… all those orgies…”
“What?” Ushviiret laughs. “Well, yeah, while I lay the eggs, true. But Carag society’s hyper-communal, we’ll have all the support you can imagine, and… look, trust me. There are so many ways for us to keep living our own lives in between raising children.”
“Oh…” Visions of all the places we’ll go, all the pleasures we’ll share, spinning in my head like spiral galaxies. “Then we’ll have everything in the universe to look forward to.”
Ushviiret Saelvur, love of my eternal life, nestles into my chest and closes her eyes for a sweet, well-earned slumber. “That we will.”
Ashenvein Gate: Stories & Dreams 